Influencer and mom of three Susie Allison says it was one of her “best parenting moves ever.”
Susie Allison had fielded all sorts of wacky requests from her three kids through the years. But when her 4-year-old son Matt asked if he could sleep in a cardboard box, she was thrown.
“I kind of took a pause because it was such an odd request,” Allison tells TODAY.com. “And then I thought, ‘Why not?’ This doesn’t go against our family values, doesn’t pose a risk, doesn’t put him in danger. It doesn’t cost a lot of time or money. Sure, go for it! Let’s sleep in a box!”
To this day, the mom of three jokes that saying yes to this atypical request — even though her knee-jerk reaction was to say no — was one of her “best parenting moves ever.”
The Box Life
Little did Allison know that what she thought was a one-night-only request would become a years-long sleeping arrangement.
In addition to being a mom, Allison has a master’s degree in early childhood education — and a huge social media following as activity guru “@BusyToddler.” She has shared the box/bed story through the years and followers have been riveted. Matt’s box has been such a sought-after topic that it has its own Instagram highlight titled, of course, “Matt’s Box.”
“I never expected that four and a half years later, Matt would still be sleeping in this box,” Allison laughs. “But I have to tell you, I get it. It is cozy in there. It is warm. It is quiet. It is dark. It’s like the perfect sanctuary.”
Though Matt’s desire to sleep in a box has lasted, the actual box has not.
“We switch out the box as it breaks, because they do, and we move all the stuff back in there,” Allison says. “I think at this point there’s 15 blankets in that box. Matt has made it like a little nest with all his stuffies and all of his pillows.”
Luckily, Allison’s father-in-law has a friend in the appliance business who saves boxes for Matt.
As Matt Grew, So Have the Boxes
Now 9 years old, Matt realized that he doesn’t “fit” in the box anymore, and Allison and her husband Chuck have been working on the plan for his next bed. He is “starting to just physically outgrow the box, and so we’re starting to make that transition eventually to a bed,” Allison shares.
Matt tried to hold on tight to that box life though.
“He requested a refrigerator box. That would be his dream,” Allison says. “That’s not going to happen. The room cannot support a refrigerator box.”
Instead, Matt selected a low loft bed. For now, his cardboard box bed lives underneath. He will say goodbye to the box … eventually.
“We’re not in a rush, and Matt’s not in a rush. He loves where he sleeps,” Allison says.
Interestingly, Matt’s older siblings — Sam, 12, and Kate, 10 — have never been jealous of his “special” bed, nor have they teased their little brother about it. “I think the other two are really supportive of everybody finding their own path and understanding that everybody’s path looks different,” she says.
Parenting Takeaway: It’s Good To Say Yes
The big parenting takeaway for Allison is how saying yes can be a transformative experience.
“I just look for those moments when my kids toss softball underhand requests that make no difference to me,” she says. “I can end up looking like such a hero for saying yes when really I didn’t do anything extravagant or extraordinary. I just paused and said yes to something that I had no reason to say no to.”
Even if you know from the start that you will decline a child’s request, Allison recommends introducing a thoughtful pause before you respond.
“It can be really easy to want to just jump to a ‘no,’ because it wasn’t your plan. But even if you say no in the end, that moment of reflection and that moment of consideration can do wonders,” she says.
Allison’s online community has been felt inspired and validated by seeing Matt’s story. “It became, for a lot of parents, this permission to give their children autonomy in a way that was really meaningful for their families,” she says.
Sleeping in a box may be Matt’s go-to icebreaker as an adult one day, but for now it’s a visual reminder that his parents take his preferences seriously.
“I always say he ends up sleeping in this comfortable nest of decision-making and autonomy and independence,” Allison says. “And how beautiful is that reminder every night as he goes to bed that his thoughts matter?”
