“These moments can inspire the child to persevere through challenges.”
Is it ever a good idea to talk about your child behind their back?
Over the years, mom and social media influencer Hannah Cases has come across several videos of parents “talking behind” their child’s back in a positive way that the child is meant to overhear.
“It really stuck with me,” Cases tells TODAY.com, and she knew she wanted to try the trend with her toddler daughter, Georgia.
“I’ve seen firsthand how the way I speak about my daughter, both to her and around her, deeply affects her. I started noticing that even when conversations weren’t directed at her, she was still listening closely,” the St. Louis, Missouri mom tells TODAY.com.
In a video posted to TikTok earlier this month, we hear Hannah and her husband, Daniel Cases, complimenting Georgia. They call her a good listener and say they are proud of her. They talk about how good she is at coloring and how so many people love her. Georgia listens intently and then interrupts her parents. Much to their “surprise,” she had been listening all along.
“Watching her little smile grow while she heard us share all the things we were proud of was such a sweet and powerful moment,” Hannah Cases says. “It reminded me that even at a young age, our kids deeply internalize the words we speak about them.”
Dr. Joshua Stein, a child and adolescent psychiatrist with PrairieCare, tells TODAY.com talking “behind” kids’ backs is a “unique way to praise children and honor their progress.”
“If parents decide to participate in this trend, it can serve as a positive and thoughtful way to boost their child’s confidence when done authentically,” Stein says.
“When a child ‘overhears’ a parent sharing a positive story about them, it can be deeply affirming. These moments can inspire the child to persevere through challenges with a stronger sense of self-worth and capability.”
There was no mistaking the smile on Georgia’s face when she overheard her parents “talking behind her back,” but are there any possible pitfalls to this seemingly sweet trend?
According to Stein, the downside exists not in the trend itself, but the sharing of it on social media. He suggests not posting the interaction at all, or at least getting consent to both record your child and post online.
“Especially in teenagers, almost anything filmed by parents would be considered cringe or uncomfortable, even under the best circumstance.” he says.
