1. You get a super-intelligent yet sassy dog
It took Max two days after I got him to perfect the ‘sit’ command and about three to four days to learn to ‘sit and wait’ before diving into his food bowl — he was just nine weeks old at the time. Yes, a German shepherd is that smart. The only problem is, they are too smart! They learn commands faster than you can figure out your TV remote, but here’s the catch…they’ll only follow your orders when they feel like it.
If you’re expecting a dog that will obey without question, think again. A German Shepherd will execute your command, but only after letting you say ‘Sit’ like five times and then give you a look that says, “I could totally run this show if I wanted to.”
2. Get ready for a lifetime of hair
Before I got Max, I often saw TikTok videos of German shepherd owners talking about how much their pets shed. I thought they were exaggerating. Welp!
The thing is, when I first got Max, he wasn’t so furry, so I thought, “Why are these people exaggerating this thing? It’s not so bad.” Max is six months now and you can’t run your hands through his body without getting furs all over your hands and clothes.
If you absolutely love the idea of ‘fur decoration’, well, German shepherd shed like it’s their full-time job so yayyy!
Oh, and if you thought brushing them would help? Think again. It’s like the more you brush, the more fur they release, so get ready for the ‘furnados!’
3. German Shepherd puppies are baby sharks in disguise
When I first got Max, playing with him was a hassle. Everything and anything went into his mouth. So if you think a German Shepherd puppy is all soft paws and sweet cuddles, sorry to disappoint you, pal. In the early stages of their life, they’re baby sharks. Their sharp little teeth will find their way into anything: slippers, furniture, your hands, your clothes, everything!
A huge chunk of my couch has been chewed off, but it is what it is, right? A pro tip is to get everything important far from a biting distance — if it’s within biting distance, sorry but that’s fair game. The puppy phase is like living with a tiny land shark who’s always looking for its next snack, so get prepared for that.
4. German shepherds do not get tired!
Once again, somebody save me!
If you want a dog that will lay cute and just lazy around, get yourself a pug or something. German shepherds are not that type, they’re more of the “let’s run round the city of Abeokuta this morning… afternoon and then at night. YIPPY!”
I’ve been actively trying to gain weight but with Max? To hell with that! I mean, who needs a personal fitness coach when you can just get a German shepherd?
5. With German shepherds, you never know what to expect
People say German shepherds are the ultimate guide dogs. That sounds great, right? I was robbed and that was one of the main reasons I decided to finally get a dog.
Tell me why mine is so different!
Yes, he’s very alert and he may look like he’s passed out but just one move or sound and somebody’s up looking at you like, “What do you think you’re doing?”
But…
Max doesn’t bark. I don’t know if he’s broken or something but he only barks when he needs my attention or is disturbed by something. While I do not want an overzealous security officer barking at everything, I have made peace with the fact that, unlike other German shepherds, I will be protecting Max and not the other way around. Or maybe he’s just a baby and will grow into it, right? Right, somebody?
6. You only get cuddles when they feel like it
Maybe it’s just me and my dog, but if you need a cuddly lap dog and want to get the GSD, think again. They can be affectionate but don’t expect constant cuddles. Maybe when Max grows older, I might get it but for now? He’ll only come when he wants to and that lasts for about… 2 seconds or so. Just when you decide you need your personal space, guess who suddenly wants your attention? You guessed right.
7. What’s life without a needy dog?
Since owning Max, I’ve realized German shepherds are just giant babies. These dogs are toddler-level needy. Want to know how your shadow looks like? Get a GSD. If you’re big on privacy, say bye bye to that because they’ll follow you everywhere, including the toilet and if you lock them out, get ready for the dramatic whines and sighs. And I promise you, a German shepherd’s whines are one of the most annoying sounds you can ever hear.
8. They’re the master of sulking and side eyes
You think huskies are dramatic? You may be in for a surprise. When German Shepherds don’t get their way, they don’t just let it go, they really go and sulk. I mean, an Oscar-worthy humphing and lying down dramatically with a long, heavy sigh and then a minute-long side eye.
It is always pure gold seeing Max’s display of pure doggy disappointment. If your ‘kink’ is emotional manipulation, congratulations on getting a German shepherd. You’re about to experience it from your four-legged furball in full blast. Enjoy!
9. You are locked in for life.
Max is too young to expect loyalty from but there are moments I catch him staring at me with the utmost attention and my heart just melts. Despite their quirks, it’s easy to tell that a German shepherd’s loyalty is for life. There are times I’ve thought about rehoming him because I miss the life I used to have, but one look at him and it’s so hard to imagine a life without him.
10. Training is important
German shepherds are the best buddies but they can be aggressive dogs. Max has, so far, never displayed any signs of aggression but aside the basic training he already has from me, I know he needs more. German Shepherds need structure and discipline, so it’s important they are well-trained to avoid stories that touch. So if you’re considering getting one, know that training is non-negotiable.
